Child Support Misconceptions (The break down)

CHILD SUPPORT MISCONCEPTIONS:

A young man came into my office a few days ago. He began discussing the mother of his child. I listened with discernment concentrating not so much on what he was saying but on why he was saying it. I didn't understand why this young man felt the need to open up to me about his frustrations but needless to say he did.

In observing this man there were a few things that were apparent. He was high of something other than life. He was dirty and he was hurt. In search of an answer to life. My focus shifted when he made this statement "I don't understand why women need child support anyway. They don't spend all of that money in one month on kids. They be using it to get their hair done. I want to see receipts."

My mind raced. I had a flashback to a conversation I had previously with the father of my child. The conversation went pretty much the same way. When I had this conversation with my son's father I couldn't detach my own frustrations so I responded defensively. I was hurt that he would even insinuate that I would take from my child for my own selfish needs. I couldn't express it then but I can now.
 
NOW BEFORE I GET INTO IT LET ME JUST SAY THIS REGARDLESS IF YOU'RE HAVING ISSUES WITH YOUR CHILD'S OTHER PARENT OR NOT! DON'T HOLD THE KID AS A BARGAINING CHIP. A PARENT DOES NOT HAVE TO PAY TO SEE THEIR CHILD!!!!

For the purpose of understanding I'm going to break it down like this. Child support is not geared towards material things. The purpose of child support is to cover the basic needs of the child. Unfortunately we live in a society where everything is geared towards showing of and flashing material items. That is ok as long as these basic needs are met. The needs are Travel, electric, shelter, heat and food. This is a tedious break down which will hopefully bring forth understanding.

For one child a non-custodial parent is required to pay 17 percent of their gross annual income to the custodial parent. Lets say the gross annual income is $20,000. The pay out would be $3400 a year, which roughly equals $285 per month.

On average I use about $50 dollars per week to get where I need to go. If it were just me I'd use about $20 to get to work and home. Having a child means that daycare drop offs and pickups must be factored in. Out of $50 per week $30 goes towards the child so $15 of it is the non-custodial parents responsibility. $15 per week equals $60 per month.

The electric bill is roughly $60 per month. With kindles, video games, nightlights and television. kids contribute way more to the bill but to be fare lets say its 50/50. Per month the child spends $30 in electric. The non-custodial parent is responsible for $15 of that.

Let's say rent for a two bedroom is $550 and rent for a one bedroom is $450. Well obviously the custodial parent has to get the two bedroom. That is an addition $100 expense and the non-custodial parent is responsible for half of it. This equals $50.

Heat bills range from month to month and season to season, but seeing as it is the winter time, lets say the bill is $100 per month. Lets split that in half meaning $50 of the expense is the child's. So $25 of the bill per month belongs to the non-custodial parent. (I acknowledge that HEAP HELPS for most but it doesn't take care of everything).

Now in some cases the custodial parent has SNAP benefits also known as foodstamps. In the child support has already been factored in. This isn't always the case. Most custodial parents with one child only spend about $400 on food per month. $200 of this $400 is for the child, so $100 of the expense is the responsibility of the non-custodial parent. ARE YOU ALL GETTING THE PICTURE YET!!!

AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED ON DAYCARE EXPENSES AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lets add our figures up 60 for travel, 15 for electric, 50 for shelter, 50 for heat, 100 for food. That equals $285. That's the same as the monthly contribution. Now what about, new clothes, extra curricular activities, toys, etc. Those things are not covered in the basic needs of the child therefore are not included in what is paid out on behalf of the child monthly. The children still need these things therefore the custodial parent supplies them on their own.

Now I understand this is not always the case. Sometimes the contributions are more or less. This post was created to give prospective on how child support should be used. Anything in addition to the basic needs of the child should be discussed between both parents and split. Never deny the work of the custodial parent. They spend more money and they spend more time. If the house is in order, the child is being feed, the lights are on and there is heat. Understand that this is where the child support has gone!

NEXT WE WILL DISCUSS HOW TO TALK TO EACH OTHER!

BACK TO BASICS

 BACK TO BASICS

Does anyone take the time out to be spontaneous with their love? Has the symbol for love truly become a heart or kissing faced texted message? Where did the mystery and excitement go? What happened to feeling that high when receiving a forget me not from someone who is courting you? Come to think about it, does anyone know what courtship is anymore? I'll tell you one thing it has nothing to do with "How many drinks does it take you to leave with me" and it's even further from "making that ass clap".

What happened to the element of surprise?  That romantic date that makes your heart stop. I know times are hard but how much does a romantic walk through the park really cost? Like zero dollars right? I've heard people say "well as long as the bills are paid I'm good.'' BUMP THAT!!!! Making your heart drop is something that should be done in addition to taking care of household responsibilities.

Romance seems to have died with the old school. Back when chivalry was a requirement. They would meet your family before the date. They knew to come correct because, the family members would be the judge and you'd actually listen to them. Oh and by the way there was no honking the horn or text messaging when he was outside. He would come to the door and actually ring the bell. Walk you to the car, open the door, wait until you got in and then he'd close the door behind you. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Before men would take you on dates with a genuine interest in getting to know you. They wanted to know if you were the type of person who was suitable to bare their children and run the households. Yes they wanted sex then too, but back then it was a mental thing. They needed to evaluate your sanity to assure that shame wouldn't be brought to the family. Now no one seems to care. Men do you feel me on this?

Stop selling yourself short! These things weren't always done only once in a blue. courtship and chivalry were requirements. I was talking to a someone about my previous blog and she stated that she wished her boyfriend would open doors and do the things I discussed about chivalry and romance. Her boyfriend just laughed and said "She got arms she can open her own door".  She wasn't smiling and neither was I.

MEN & WOMEN lets get back to basics. State what your requirements are in the beginning. It's difficult because we are in a time of desperation. people will sell there souls for someone to call their own, but don't be that person. Women there are still good men out there who will be more than happy to treat you like the prize that you are. Men there are still good women out there who are willing to cook, clean take care of the children all while staying fit, being fly and loyal.

I am a queen and I've worked hard for my thrown. If you don't come correct don't come at all!!

NO MATTER WHAT SOCIETY SAYS YOU ARE STILL THE PRIZE!

Sincerely; Roxanne Danielle (The Red Rose Romantic)